THANOS
SIGNS, SYMPTOMS
AND SELF-CARE
FOR COMPASSION
FATIGUE
AI IN GRIEF SUPPORT
FUNERALS CAN SAVE
MEDICAL COSTS,
COMMUNITY, AND
EVEN MOURNERS’ LIVE
PAWS FOR COMFORT
107
MAGAZINE
AUTUMN 2024
The World Organization of Funeral Operatives
17th International
Funeral Exhibition
04/05/06 June 2026
More than 75 years of BEFA FORUM International
More than 25 x FORUM BEFA Regional
100% competence for the funeral branche
More than 230 NATIONAL AND INTERNATIONAL EXHIBITORS
on approx. 25.000 m²
More than 10.000 VISITORS from more than 40 countries
www.forum-befa.com
info@forum-befa.de
Image fi lm:
Registration forms
Dear colleagues and friends,
ith great excitement I am looking forward
to the FIAT-IFTA 2024 Convention in
September! The event promises to be really
inspiring
and
enriching.
The
enthusiasm
surrounding this event is palpable and I am
sure that this positive energy will stay with our
organization for much longer!
We will be meeting and networking over 300
professionals from 52 countries around the
world. We will host distinguished experts from
Japan, the USA, Germany and Poland as well as
prominent Polish athletes: Jerzy Dudek and Artur
Partyka. I am very impressed by the commitment
on the part of FIAT-IFTA members who have
volunteered to participate in working meetings of
committees working on important topics for the
funeral industry. Moreover we will visit one of the
oldest cemeteries in Poland – Rakowicki Cemetery
and one of the newest Municipal Cemeteries
Podgórki Tynieckie in Krakow. We will also have
the opportunity to explore the beautiful city of
Krakow and its surroundings, as well as to get to
know the culture and tastes of the Małopolska
region. We will dine in a restaurant that once
hosted a magnificent feast for the monarchs of
Europe in the name of the Polish King Casimir the
Great. I am sure it will be a memorable event for
everyone attending, for many different reasons.
For me personally, it will mark the end of my term
as FIAT-IFTA president. It is my humble hope that
FIAT-IFTA members will appreciate my efforts in
developing the organization so that it can flourish
under the presidency of my successor and friend
William C. Wappner. I consider it a tremendous
value of our organization to build the future on
the expertise of our forefathers.
For growth and development, inner peace and
strength are essential. In this issue of THANOS
magazine, we focus on the critical topic of mental
health, addressing the unique challenges faced
by funeral professionals, such as emotional
strain and professional burnout, as well as
the needs of families coping with grief and
seeking psychological support at funeral homes.
Compassion fatigue and burnout are huge issues
in our profession right now. We should not be
afraid to openly discuss these topics in business
meetings and public forums.
Wishing you an inspiring reading experience and
looking forward to meeting you all September
18-20, 2024 in Krakow, Poland at 17th FIAT-IFTA
Convention and 53rd FIAT-IFTA I.C.D. Annual
Meeting. See you in Krakow, one of the most
beautiful cities in Poland!
Marek Cichewicz
FIAT-IFTA President
Marek Cichewicz
FIAT-IFTA President
THANOS MAGAZINE
THANOS magazine, the official magazine of FIAT-IFTA
Editor-in-Chief: Katarzyna Supa, e-mail: fiatifta-magazine@thanos.org
Editorial Office: FIAT-IFTA – The World Organization of Funeral Operatives,
Apolloweg 325, 8239DC, Lelystad – NL
Design & DTP: PRZECINEK.studio
All materials are copyrighted. Reprinting and use of materials require
permission from the FIAT-IFTA Office. Editors reserve the right to shorten texts
and change the titles of submitted materials. FIAT-IFTA Office is not liable
for the content of advertisements and promotional materials.
Feel invited to create the Thanos Magazine together with us and advertise your products and services: fiatifta-magazine@thanos.org
Photo by Sándor Kerekes for OTEI
PRESIDENT’S PERSPECTIVE
THANOS MAGAZINE | No. 107 – AUTUMN 2024
Course on Transportation of
Human Remains by air with
certificate issued by IATA
IATA
(International
Air
Transportation
Association) invites all FIAT-IFTA members to
attend a course on Transportation of Human
Remains by air which will be certificated by IATA.
FIAT-IFTA members can get a 50% discount
for this course!
IATA’s Compassionate Transportation course
offers a comprehensive guide to the airline
acceptance and transport of human remains.
You will learn the fundamental operational
guidelines for funeral operators, airlines, and
freight forwarders, focusing on the preparation,
shipment, and handling of this sensitive
cargo. The course covers regulatory and
documentation requirements, best practices for
packaging and labelling, coordination among
involved parties, and special considerations
for international transport. By the end of the
course, you will be equipped to manage the
complexities of transporting human remains
with professionalism and care.
The live sessions of this virtual classroom course
will be delivered by an official IATA Instructor
in two dates to choose from: 22nd October
and 26th November. Each participant will
receive the most current IATA Compassionate
Transportation Manual (CTM) in e-book format.
Please follow the link below for further
information:
There are limited spaces. If you would like to
take advantage of the 50% discount, please
send an e-mail to info@thanos.org .
FIAT-IFTA Embalming Committee visit China
Sortem, an active member of FIAT-IFTA, recently
visited Beijing, China, representing the FIAT-IFTA
Embalming Committee.
During this visit, Sortem had the honour of meeting
with Li Jianhua, President of the China Funeral
Association.
The meeting marked a significant milestone
as it concluded discussions on Tanatopraxia
technical training workshops set to take place at
the China International Funeral Expo (CIFE) 2025.
This collaboration promises to enhance the
expertise and practices within the funeral
industry.
4
No. 107 – AUTUMN 2024 | THANOS MAGAZINE
MEMBERS’ NEWS
Let’s welcome new members of FIAT-IFTA
We are happy to welcome 14 new members of our
organization! Since May 2024, we have been joined
by 1 National Member, 4 Active Members and
9 Associate Members. Please welcom:
National Member:
• IVOSEP from Republic of Côte d’Ivoire
Active Members:
• DS&SK Development Berhard from Malaysia
• Funeral Logistics Services from Hong Kong
• Funeraria Luz from Brazil
• Georg Hartl GmbH from Germany
Associate Members:
• Alians 2001 Ltd. from Bulgaria
• Dorma Sofia Ltd. from Bulgaria
• EHG Dienstleistung GmbH. from Germany
• Grupo Memorial Corporativo from República
de Panamá
• HIMML BESTATTUNGEN e. K.from Germany
• Jasmin International from Slovenia
• Ninness Funeral Home from New Zealand
• Transforme Serviços Verdes Consultoria em
Sustentabilidade Ltda from Brazil
• Warrick-Kummer-Rettig Funeral Home
from USA
If you wish to expand your network to
enhance the global exposure of your services,
apply for FIAT-IFTA Membership by sending an
e-mail at info@thanos.org .
Commitment to Digital
Accessibility Reaches
the Funeral Industry
In a pioneering way, and after all of the necessary
implementations and audits, FIAT-IFTA member
Grupo ASV Servicios Funerarios in Spain has
obtained the certificate of web accessibility that
complies with the UNE-EN 301549:2022 standard
for offering a respectful and dignified online
experience for all users.
Grupo ASV Servicios Funerarios’ initiative allows web
access to people with visual, hearing, motor, and
cognitive disabilities. In the specific case of Grupo
ASV Servicios Funerarios’ online portal, detailed
descriptions of products or images have been included,
keyboard navigable buttons have been implemented
or the colour contrast of buttons and texts has been
improved, among other accessibility improvements.
Currently, compliance with these regulations is only
mandatory for public administration.
Web accessibility is part of the Sustainable
Development Goals (SDGs) included in the 2030
agenda. It refers to the design and development
of websites and applications so that all people can
use them, regardless of their abilities, disabilities, or
the technologies they use. This implies that people
with visual, hearing, motor, cognitive and cognitive
disabilities, as well as older people can perceive,
understand, navigate and access information and
services without barriers.
MEMBERS’ NEWS
ADVERTISEMENT
FIAT-IFTA Global Education
Committee sets its objectives
Part of the collective FIAT-IFTA mission is to provide
advocacy,
education,
information,
products,
programs, and services to help our members
enhance the quality of service to bereaved families in
all countries. FIAT-IFTA Global Education Committee
was established to encourage and develop
education in funeral services and embalming or
thanatopraxy throughout the world, with the aim
of achieving uniform standards and regulations. We
are committed to sharing knowledge and expertise,
to help improve and enhance the services rendered
by funeral directors and thanatologists.
At the moment professionals from UK, Hong Kong,
Spain, Hungary and Poland lead by Miss Alison Crake
(UK) Chair of the Global Education Committee are
focusing their efforts to create a global education
without borders program promoting good practices
in the funeral industry, organizing workshops and
trainings hand in hand with FIAT-IFTA members as
well as promoting the educational initiatives from
around the world. In order to better coordinate its
work, the Committee appointed its Secretary – Mrs.
Fiona Greenwood (UK).
At the meeting in JulyGlobal Education Committee
set its main objectives, which are:
• Increase
awareness
on
the
importance
of education and continuing professional
development within the funeral business.
• Raise standards of services throughout the
world via education programs, either developed
by FIAT-IFTA or by any of its members.
• Encourage
and
promote
gender
equality
through education programs.
• Represent the funeral branch in local, regional, or
global education initiatives, policies or legislation.
All FIAT-IFTA members representing different
sectors in the industry and countries are invited
to join the Global Education Committee. The
forthcoming FIAT-IFTA 2024 Convention in Krakow
will be a great opportunity to create strategies
to raise the standards of the funeral industry
worldwide as well as to share your knowledge
and insights on education in the funeral industry.
Mrs. Fiona Greenwood (UK)
Secretary of the Global Education Committee
Miss Alison Crake (UK)
Chair of the Global Education Committee
Funeral Heritage Report 2024 set to debut at FIAT-IFTA 2024 Convention!
We have a little sneak peek for you! Our Funeral
Heritage Report 2024 is ready to be presented
during the FIAT-IFTA 2024 Convention in
Krakow in September! In this issue of Funeral
Heritage Report we present intangible funeral
heritage from 11 countries: Brazil, P.R. of
China, Colombia, Hungary, Indonesia, Japan,
Mexico, Poland, Spain, Sweden and the United
Kingdom. We can’t wait to share this publication
with you!
Since its establishment in 2008, the FIAT-IFTA Funeral
Heritage Steering Committee’s objective is to ensure
that there is recognition of the importance of funeral
heritage as part of intangible cultural heritage.
We believe that funeral rites and social practices
around death, dying and bereavement are worth
keeping and worth remembering. The protection
of funeral heritage forms a key part of FIAT-IFTA’s
ongoing mission to provide advocacy, education,
information to its worldwide membership.
6
No. 107 – AUTUMN 2024 | THANOS MAGAZINE
MEMBERS’ NEWS
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Upright position for full
turns in tight spaces
such as stair landings.
IAT-IFTA Board is looking forward to
welcoming all registered members
to the FIAT-IFTA 2024 Convention in
Krakow, Poland!
The 17th FIAT-IFTA Convention and 53rd
FIAT-IFTAL.C.D. Annual Meeting will take
place from the 18th to 20th of September
2024. This significant gathering will be
organized in partnership with the City of
Krakow and supported by the Polish Funeral
Association, which is the longest-operating
Polish organization in the funeral industry
in Poland and national member of FIAT-
IFTA as well as the Institute of Funeral and
Cemetery Industries. We expect nearly
300 professionals from over 50 countries:
Poland, USA, Japan, Brazil, Belgium, Canada,
UK, Denmark, Austria, China, Romania,
Estonia,
Slovenia,
Mauritania,
Croatia,
Greece, Germany, Malta, Hungary, Spain,
Tunisia, Ukraine, France, Netherlands, Italy,
Bulgaria, South Africa, Czech Republic,
Turkey, Israel, Portugal, Iceland, Mexico,
Nepal, India, Morocco, Hong Kong, Singapore,
Mongolia and many more.
Here are the top 3 things to do before you come
to the Convention in Krakow:
1
Download
the
app
and
take
advantage of it – start networking
before the Convention begins!
Don't wait to download the official FIAT-IFTA
Krakow 2024 app and complete your profile. Be
at the centre of events, start promoting yourself
and networking even before we meet in Krakow!
In the app you will find your convention ticket
and many useful tools helping to promote
yourself and your company, as well the tools
which allow you to fully enjoy your presence at
the FIAT-IFTA 2024 Convention in Krakow like
meeting planner, business cards, chat (works
like the well-known Messenger or WhatsApp),
wall (works like Facebook), agenda, downloads,
venue maps. Check it out for yourself!
2
Make sure you have all your
bookings – hotel, flights, transfers.
Krakow is a city vibrant with numerous events and
frequented by tourists, so it's worth taking care
CHECK IF YOU’RE READY
FOR THE FIAT-IFTA 2024 CONVENTION
WE LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU IN KRAKOW, POLAND
8
No. 107 – AUTUMN 2024 | THANOS MAGAZINE
LET’S MEET
of your accommodation as soon as possible! We
recommend two hotels : Hotel Mercure Krakow
Fabryczna City and Hotel ibis Styles Krakow
Centre. The Convention will be held at the CKF_13
Fabryczna Conference Centre, located 20 km
from Balice John Paul II International Airport. Taxi
rates are available on Krakow Airport website.
3
Check what’s on the agenda
and plan your days ahead.
You can take part in many events including:
I.C.D. Meeting, working meetings of 5 committees
related to extremely important areas to the
funeral industry worldwide: intangible funeral,
education, embalming, sustainability and coffin
standards, international conference of during
which the most current topics related to the
development of the funeral industry in the
region and around the world are discussed
by experts from Poland, Japan, Germany, USA
as well as two outstanding Polish sportsmen:
soccer legend Jerzy Dudek and prominent
athlete Artur Partyka. There is also going to be
time to enjoy and celebrate during evening get-
together events: Welcome cocktail reception
sponsored by Facultatieve Technologies, Gala
Dinner, and Farewell Party hosted by the
new FIAT-IFTA President sponsored by Dignity
Memorial and NFDA. During the technical visit
and sightseeing of Krakow sponsored by Grupo
ASV convention attendees will discover the
history and monuments of Krakow – a UNESCO-
listed former royal capital city, as well as
experience distinct flavours of Polish cuisine.
In the app you can mark your favourite events
and create your own personalized agenda!
We believe that the meeting in Krakow will open
new perspectives and cooperation opportunities
for all participants. We are looking forward to
seeing you in the magical city of Krakow soon!
All details concerning the FIAT-IFTA
2024 Convention can be found at
www.fiatifta2024.com .
THANOS MAGAZINE | No. 107 – AUTUMN 2024
LET’S MEET
Discover the amazing partners
of the FIAT-IFTA 2024 Convention,
read more about them on
www.fiatifta2024.com in
Sponsors and partners tab.
PLATINUM PARTNER
SILVER PARTNER
GOLD PARTNER
PARTNER
INDUSTRY PARTNER
FAREWELL PARTY PARTNER
CONFERENCE PARTNER
TECHNICAL VISIT
& TOURIST PROGRAM PARTNER
MEDIA PARTNER
Kraków.pl
Last update: 25th August 2024
PARTNERSHIP OF THE CITY OF KRAKOW
DEACTIVATING “AMY”
SIGNS, SYMPTOMS AND SELF-CARE
FOR COMPASSION FATIGUE
Abbreviation of article written by Edward J. Defort, editor of NFDA Publications, USA.
Article is based on Linda Cheldelin Fell NFDA Convention presentation on
compassion fatigue.
10
No. 107 – AUTUMN 2024 | THANOS MAGAZINE
MAIN TOPIC
ompassion fatigue is a term traced
back to 1907 when first used by
psychoanalyst and psychiatrist Carl
Jung to describe the concept of the
“wounded healer.”
Linda Cheldelin Fell, a retired firefighter/EMT
certified in critical-incident stress management,
specializes in trauma, grief and compassion
fatigue. She is a founding partner of the
International Grief Institute, which is dedicated
to building community resilience through
programs and training available exclusively for
the funeral industry.
Compassion is something everyone is born with.
“In the funeral industry, there is an abundance of
compassion within each of you,” said Cheldelin
Fell. “We all want to fix what appears broken. We
all empathize when people are going through
rough times.” Compassion fatigue happens
when people in the cre-giving industry, who are
affected day-in and day-out through the course
of their career hearing traumatic stories.
Without protecting one’s self from compassion
fatigue, that vicarious trauma energy sticks to
you and over time begins to wear you down.
It’s also known as vicarious trauma. “It’s a
cumulative effect of working with people in crisis
without taking care of yourself first,” Cheldelin
Fell said. “When we hear stories over and over
again, we are absorbing someone else’s trauma,
and if we’re not careful, it can stick to us like
Velcro, and we take it home with us.”
For funeral directors, this is the job. “You have
a sacred job tending to families in their darkest
hours, but times have changed,” she said.
“We've got more violent deaths, stigmatized
deaths, that would be suicide, homicide., cold
cases, death by overdose and mass casualty
incidences. “More and more of you are finding
yourselves in a position to tend to those victims
because they have to go somewhere and they
happen in every town,” she added. Some of these
traumatizing cases are gruesome and can cause
sensory overload. Long hours and unpredictable
breaks may also trigger compassion fatigue.
One of the biggest contributors to compassion
fatigue – a poor work/life balance. This is
especially true for newer applicants entering
the profession. [...] Because of those long
hours, you never know when you’re going to get
home, you don’t know how many calls are going
to come in the middle of the night. Sure, it’s
what you signed up for when you entered the
profession, but the work-life balance is going
to make the difference between being able to
enjoy your calling or burning out.
Anyone in the caregiving profession is at risk,
including firefighters, service workers and
healthcare workers. But no one has been hit
harder by the events of the past couple of years
than funeral service workers.
Cheldelin Fell pointed out that a 2017 study
showed that 87% of emergency responders
reported symptoms of compassion and fatigue.
Furthermore, 70% of mental health workers
reported symptoms of compassion fatigue.
The same was reported to be true among 50%
of child welfare workers. No one has studied
compassion fatigue among funeral directors.
How does compassion fatigue affect the
funeral home? “Absenteeism,” said Cheldelin
Fell. Your battery is low, you’re physically tired,
you’re mentally tired, you’re going to call in sick.
What happens when someone calls in sick is
the caseload gets put on your colleagues. Some
might go to work but are not really being there
if they’re mentally checked out.
Another
way
compassion
fatigue
affects
the funeral home is in what she called
“presenteeism,” which is when someone shows
up for work, but they are not really there.
“Because you are mentally and emotionally
tired, your productivity decreases,” she said.
“When we’re stressed, when we’re fatigued,
we don’t get as much done because we move
slower, we make errors – not intentionally, of
course, but they happen. Compassion fatigue
can trigger a lapse in judgment as well.
Unmitigated
compassion
fatigue
leads
to
burnout. A high staff turnover rate will negatively
impact a funeral home. A funeral home owner
Compassion fatigue happens
when people in the cre-giving
industry, who are affected
day-in and day-out through the
course of their career hearing
traumatic stories.
THANOS MAGAZINE | No. 107 – AUTUMN 2024
11
MAIN TOPIC
would have to spend money recruiting and
training new employees. “Employee retention,
that’s all money,” she said. Mental health,
stress and compassion fatigue costs the
funeral profession upwards of $48 billion.
Signs and Symptoms
Cheldelin Fell cited some of the signs and
symptoms of compassion fatigue. As you might
suspect, these include mental and/or physical
exhaustion, irritability, difficulty concentrating,
errors, lapses in judgment, dreading work and
insomnia.
Many people don’t understand the difference
between compassion fatigue and burnout,
but the symptoms just listed are the same
for burnout. What’s the difference then?
“Compassion fatigue has a faster onset,” said
Cheldelin Fell. “It can ebb and flow and you can
recover from it if caught early, whereas burnout
– think of a slow burn – emerges over time and
once you reach that point it is harder to mitigate.
Cheldelin Fell likened compassion fatigue to an
empty cup – there’s nothing more to give. “it’s
also for everything we do in life – when we feel
better physically, mentally and emotionally, we
cope with things better,” she said.
Self-Care Plan
The first part of a self-care plan is awareness
about how stress affects you. “Ask yourself
some hard questions – what kind of cases do
you take home,” she said. These are what she
called bottom-drawer cases, those that stick
with you through time. [...]
She advised attendees to think about what
causes them to identify with a family. What is it
that makes it so hard for you to leave it at the
door when you leave for the night. The answer
will be different for everyone. Also, consider
what other external stressors are going on in
life.
Balance
Balance is about finding that middle ground
between work and life. “Setting emotional
boundaries is critical to your well being,”
Cheldelin Fell said. “Minimize stress where you
can and engage in activities that actually make
you feel good.”
Many people find setting emotional boundaries
very difficult, but everyone must put some
kind of boundaries in place. So how do you set
emotional boundaries? “Understand how to
set emotional boundaries and adhere to those
boundaries because you don't need someone
else’s toxicity sticking to you,” she said. “Limiting
exposure to toxic relationships is much easier
said than done. We have to put up a barrier at
times because we can't take on someone else’s
toxicity.”
Think about what your support system is like.
“For many of us, our outside extracurricular
activities involve team projects,” Cheldelin Fell
said. What do you do outside work that allows
you to connect with people who enjoy things
that you enjoy? It could include being part of
a walking group, a book club or tennis club, or
golf.
Decontamination Tools
The question became, what is it that you do
when you leave work to decontaminate your
mind? “Think about how you are disengaging
and find a ritual that works for you,” she said. It
could be putting on music in the car on the way
home and singing out loud. Create a ritual that
allows you to decontaminate your mind from
the time you leave work until the time you get
home. [...]
The Problem With Stress
There is good stress (eustress) – the feeling
you get after the birth of a baby, receiving a
promotion or even buying a bigger home. “It
triggers endorphins in our brain that make us
feel good,” she said. “We also have distress,
and that triggers hormones as well, but they
Compassion is something
everyone is born with. In the
funeral industry, there is an
abundance of compassion
within each of us. We all want
to fix what appears broken. We
all empathize when people are
going through rough times.
12
No. 107 – AUTUMN 2024 | THANOS MAGAZINE
MAIN TOPIC
don’t make us feel good. These are continual
challenges. “What happens when we are in
distress?” she asked. “No breaks, no relief.”
The human brain uses hormones to help the
body respond to all stress. These include the
happy hormones – oxytocin, dopamine and
serotonin. Then there are the stress hormones
– adrenaline, cortisol and norepinephrine.
“When you are in a fight, flight or fear situation,
suddenly your brain is triggered into what to do
before you even think about it,” she said. “I’ts
called fight, flight or freeze.”
There are two almond-shaped collections of
nuclei within each cerebral hemisphere known
as the “amygdala.” (Cheldelin Fell called it “Amy”
for short.) “Amy is triggered by anxiety, fear,
anger and stress,” she explained.
When faced with a stressful situation, such as
an encounter with a wild animal, before you
even have a thought about what you’re going
to do, your brain (Amy) is already on it. “When
she senses danger, she secretes those stress
hormones,” said Cheldelin Fell. “It’s about saving
your life.”
What happens with stress, she explained, is that
when Amy is triggered, the brain’s chemicals
anesthetize the frontal lobe – the part that
handles critical thinking and problem solving.
In a sense, Amy and her band of hormones
have hijacked your brain. Critical thinking and
problem-solving skills have been disabled.
When you are under continual stress, Cheldelin
Fell explained there is something in your brain
called “neuroplasticity,” and those tracks build
upon themselves. “The more stress that you
are under without mitigating it, the more the
neuroplasticity is going to form those tracks.”
The good news is that the brain can create
the same neuroplasticity tracks from positive
reactions. “If your brain is triggered by the stress
hormones and if it is triggered for a long time
and you start developing these new tracks in
the brain, you can do the same. With the happy
hormones,” she said.
The good news, though, is that by using any
of the following modalities, you can create
neuroplasticity tracks to undo that stress.
Resilience Strategies
While almost everyone knows the importance of
staying hydrated, eating a nutritionally balanced
diet and getting regular exercise, Cheldelin Fell
explained that there are other evidence-based
modalities we might not know are good for us.
The first involves creating a self-care plan to
help you stay healthy and grounded and ready
to perform necessary tasks to the best of your
ability as you serve families.
To illustrate her point, she asked attendees to
think about the three people they love more than
anything. She then asked if anyone had included
themselves in that group. “Make yourself
number one,” Cheldelin Fell encouraged. “Start
THANOS MAGAZINE | No. 107 – AUTUMN 2024
13
MAIN TOPIC
ADVERTISEMENT
working on this care plan and stick to it. Like an
exercise routine, the more you practice it, the
easier it becomes.”
The next strategy is to create a trauma filter.
“You hear trauma stories all day long but you
don't have to immerse yourself in their story,”
she said. “You can create a trauma filter so
their energy doesn't stick to you like Velcro.”
When someone tells a story, she explained,
“We visualize ourselves it on our head like
we’re there, so part of creating a trauma filter
is to listen to the story without visualizing it,”
she said. If you need a little visual distraction,
Cheldelin Fell suggested placing a bouquet of
flowers between yourself and the speaker. It
gives you a reminder to stay in your bubble,”
she said.
Handling a case in which someone suffered an
adverse childhood experience that you have
also experienced, such as physical abuse or an
alcoholic parent, can also trigger your trauma
response and land you in their bubble. “If you
have trauma in your own childhood, just be
mindful of that,” she said.
Also, maintain awareness of your own body.
“Are you leaning in, are you in their bubble, and
before you know it you are right next to them,”
Cheldelin Fell said. “You can listen to the story,
without taking it on as yours.”
Debriefing is utilized by firefighters and law
enforcement.
After
they’ve
been
through
a traumatic call, they come together as a
team. Cheldelin Fell explained that debriefing
involves a logical sequence of events to
help those involved begin to process what
they’ve experienced. The goal is to help them
mitigate their emotional stress and let some
of that steam off before they go home. “This
is something that can be done with your staff
when you have a traumatic call,” she advised.
“A staff that undergoes debriefing will be better
in the long run.”
Next, Cheldelin Fell discussed the Valsalva
maneuver, what that does is the vagus nerve
releases an anti-anxiety chemical that slows
down the heartbeat and calms breathing.
Self havening is a relatively new modality – it
is a psychosensory action involving touch to
create delta brainwaves. The exercise involves
the downward stroking of the upper arm in a
soothing way. Stroking your head and face is
also effective in creating delta waves, which
have been shown to help relax the mind.
Tapping is another psychosensory modality.
It has to do with tapping certain areas of your
body 15 times, which introduces the same delta
brainwaves.
Imagery is an effective strategy as well. “Imagery
activates the senses and induces a peaceful
state of mind,” said Cheldelin Fell. “Find a happy
place for yourself – a place that creates peace
for you. And when you create it, think of how
it smells, how it tastes, what is there to touch.”
Engage your senses and try to visit that spot at
least once a day – a peaceful, calm and inviting
place that you want to go to.”
Another modality is called a Zen zone, which
could be a room within the funeral home
that serves as a place where staff can go to
decompress. “It doesn't have to be a brand new
room that you add on. It could be an existing
room that you just designate,” she said. “It could
be the break room where a staff member could
go to collect themselves.”
Color can also help you deal with stress. “Colors
influence how we feel and we can use colors to
our advantage,” Cheldelin Fell said. The study
of chromotherapy has been around since
ancient Egypt, and Western culture is just now
beginning to study its efficacy. “There are many
ways you can engage with chromotherapy,”
The 2017 study showed
that 87% of emergency
responders reported
symptoms of compassion and
fatigue. Furthermore, 70%
of mental health workers
reported symptoms of
compassion fatigue.
The same was reported to
be true among 50% of child
welfare workers.
No one has studied
compassion fatigue among
funeral directors.
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Mental health,
stress and compassion fatigue
costs the funeral profession
upwards of $48 billion.
she said, such as watching a YouTube color-
wash video, or painting a wall to whatever
color you find soothing. Particular colors may
not have the same effect on people across the
board, however. For example, while some see
red as an invigorating color, others see it as
angry. Notice how you react to colors and then
use chromotherapy to change how you feel.
Cheldelin Fell noted that some people might try
their hand at adult coloring [books], but there
are other ways to engage in chromotherapy
without having to pick up a crayon.
Another stress mitigator is an ancient Japanese
practice called forest bathing. Studies have
shown that spending 20 minutes outside in
greenery can lower your heart rate and make
you feel calmer by reducing blood pressure and
pulse rate. “If you can, make that part of your
lunch break,” she said. If you don’t have a park
near you, use a serene photo as the wallpaper
on your computer or blow it up into a poster
and put it on the wall.
Another stress mitigator is sensory therapy.
Engage in simple pleasures, like finding five
things you can see, hear, smell, touch and taste.
[...] When we engage with our five senses, the
body still feels pleasure. And so we're going
to connect that pleasure from the body to the
brain by letting it resonate.
Some people are huggers, but not everyone
is, so hug therapy may not be for everyone.
Benefit of hugging as a modality is that we are
all born with the need to be touched, that’s our
first way of feeling loved,” she said. When we
give a hug and get one, it triggers endorphins.
But, she added, what most people don’t know
is it also puts pressure on the thymus gland,
which is responsible for manufacturing white
blood cells, which keep us healthy.
Another modality is something Cheldelin Fell
called “mindful decon,” which involves creating
a “decontamination ritual” at the beginning and/
or end of the day.
Knitting therapy can also prove effective
because repetitive motions of the hand induce
a meditative state. “
Next, Cheldelin Fell relayed her friendship with
a school superintendent back home who chairs
many committees. In every meeting, she said,
the superintendent has a doodle book and
she doodles throughout the meeting. A lot of
people were offended by that – they thought
she was not paying attention – but she has a
Ph.D. for a reason. “Research has proved that
people who doodle while on the phone or
listening to a meeting retain up to 29% more,”
she said.
Cheldelin Fell also recommended restorative
sleep, which allows the body to repair and
replace the cellular components necessary
for biological functions that become depleted
throughout the day. [...]
The saying goes that laughter is the best
medicine. Laugh therapy is one of the most
powerful modalities, and yes, it is evidence-
based. “When you get a belly laugh, you create
a perfect diaphragmatic breath, and the perfect
diaphragmatic breath oxygenates your brain,”
Cheldelin Fell said. “It’s also a natural painkiller.”
The brain cannot tell the difference between a
fake laugh and an authentic laugh. “What you
can do is fake it until you make it,” she said.
Crown massage stimulates the nerves and
calms the nervous system. The prefrontal cortex
of the brain is the center for logical thought.
During stress, blood leaves this area to assist
other areas for immediate action.
Like chromotherapy, music therapy is also
effective. Music influences how we feel, so use
it to your advantage.
Dance movement therapy is an evidence-
based modality as well. Dancing is something
that moves your lymph system and triggers
hormones. Everyone has a go-to song. It’s
not about knowing the steps, nor is it about
knowing all the words; it’s about triggering the
vagus nerve to release those chemicals.
Moving forward, know how stress affects you.
Engage in activities, modalities, that trigger the
happy cocktail. Remember, you can’t pour from
an empty cup.
THANOS MAGAZINE | No. 107 – AUTUMN 2024
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AI IN GRIEF SUPPORT
REVOLUTIONIZING HEALING BEYOND THE FUNERAL
By Patricia Klimek and Adam Fischer, The Willow Team, Austria
o explore the current state of grief
support, this article emphasizes
the importance of memories and the
need for funeral homes to expand their
offerings beyond organizational tasks.
By incorporating insights from funeral
homes and psychologists, it highlights
innovative ways to support grieving
families emotionally and underscores
the
significant
role
of
preserving
memories in the recovery process.
The Struggle with Grief
When a loved one passes away, families often
face overwhelming administrative tasks. “We try
to relieve the bereaved of as many burdensome
organizational tasks as possible. However,
especially once the funeral service is planned
and organized, the loss often becomes very
apparent to the bereaved.” describes Sonja
Dietl from Bestattung Wien. While traditional
services end with the funeral, many funeral
homes like Bestattung Wien and Himmelblau
cooperate
with
support
associations
and
psychologists to help families to navigate their
grief. “It is important to provide the appropriate
and suitable framework for families – grief has
many faces.” Mrs. Dietl adds.
Funeral home staff see the significant impact
on clients' mental state and must adapt to
these challenges. David Wagner, head of sales
at Bestattung Himmelblau, shares, “Organizing
a funeral has sensitive emotional components
impacting both families and staff. For our staff,
we offer targeted training and anonymized
psychological support. However, for the families,
our services currently focus only on operational
support.”
“Once the ceremony is over, families feel
lost and lack guidance. Funeral services lack
solutions to provide long-term support,” adds
Philippe Lemonaca (VP European Federation
of Living with Grief ). Funeral homes largely
lack tools for ongoing support, focusing mainly
on logistical rather than emotional assistance.
To this Mr. Wagner noted, "Until the funeral,
customers are in grief but function due to many
tasks they have to perform. The more intense
part of the grieving process only starts after the
funeral, when we no longer have touchpoints
with clients."
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To understand how to best help families, the
grieving process and remedies suggested by
psychologists are worth exploring.
The Grieving Process and Its Antidote
Grief is a complex journey that varies for each
individual.
Psychologists
identify
stages
of
grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and
acceptance. Mr. Lemonaco explains, “Grief is
unique and requires a solution that adapts to each
individual.”
Psychologist
Marie-Frédérique
Bacqué
emphasizes, “Grieving is a continuous process.
Families need support that adapts to their changing
emotional needs. The first moments of loss are
marked by the tension between the last vivid
memories of the deceased and the reality of their
death. Bereaved individuals need to trust their
community to help them navigate through their
complex emotions.”
Remembrance plays a vital role in early grieving,
acting as an antidote to the initial shock and
denial. Personalized tribute ceremonies and
digital memorials provide significant psychological
benefits, helping families process their loss and
find meaning in grief. Dr. Bacqué emphasizes,
"Creating a space for remembrance allows
individuals to reflect, share stories, and celebrate
the life of their loved one."
However, these activities are often neglected due
to administrative tasks families face after a loss,
impacting their psychological state. Remembrance
activities, such as storytelling and creating digital
memorials, help acknowledge loss, an essential
step in healing. "The act of remembering and
honouring a loved one can transform grief into a
journey of restoration, where the focus shifts from
loss to celebrating life," Bacqué noted.
Traditional Solutions
Families often hire biographers to create a
memoir for solace in remembrance. While these
biographies offer detailed portrayals of a loved
one’s life, the process is time-consuming and
costly. Experts agree that while hiring a biographer
can be a wonderful way to honour someone's life,
it’s not accessible to everyone due to high costs.
Grief Counselling provides essential emotional
support but is typically limited in duration, often ending
after a few sessions. " Grief counselling is invaluable
but typically limited in duration. While group support
is recommended for normal grief, these sessions are
often insufficient for those experiencing complicated
grief," Mrs. Bacqué explains.
New Technologies
Emerging
technologies
offer
promising
new avenues for grief support, especially in
remembrance. AI-driven solutions personalize
support and simplify remembering a loved one,
making it more accessible and meaningful.
An innovator in this field, Willow’s technology
simplifies remembrance with conversational AI.
Through personalized questions, Willow collects
testimonials from family members and friends
to create lasting E-memoirs. This personalized
interaction supports the grieving process and
preserves memories for future generations.
Willow helps funeral homes and families create
deeply personal tribute ceremonies that reflect the
unique life of their loved one. This provides comfort
and fosters unity among family members.
Willow's family tree feature creates a genealogical
record for the family, connecting digital memorials
to form a lasting legacy. This ongoing aid helps
families find solace long after the funeral. Mrs.
Bacqué emphasizes, "Willow's approach to digital
memorials offers a therapeutic way for families to
keep the memory of their loved ones alive, crucial
for long-term emotional well-being."
Conclusion
Digital technologies offer a new, personalized approach
with long-term value. By integrating these solutions,
funeral homes can enhance their services, offering
continuous support to grieving families. Sonja Dietl
from Bestattung Wien emphasizes, “As Austria's largest
funeral company, we place great importance on offering
the broadest possible product portfolio: from mourning
jewellery to digital solutions we provide customers with
support that is in line with social developments”. This
improves the emotional well-being of the bereaved and
positions funeral homes as compassionate providers
dedicated to holistic care.
The journey of grief is long and complex, but
innovative tools like Willow provide the support
needed to recover and remember loved ones
meaningfully. This approach honours the deceased
and supports the living, fostering a compassionate
community through grief.
THANOS MAGAZINE | No. 107 – AUTUMN 2024
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FUNERALS CAN SAVE
MEDICAL COSTS,
COMMUNITY, AND
EVEN MOURNERS’ LIVE
By Carl Becker, PhD., D.Psych. Kyoto University School of Medicine, Japan
he more our society ages, the more
we need emotionally and socially
supportive
funerals!
Satisfying
funeral services not only spare our
government huge medical and social
welfare expenses, but also can reduce
families’ isolation and even mortality.
Satisfying funerals are survivors’ last
best chance to reunite with supportive
family and old friends. Dissatisfying
funerals which fail to reunite family
and friends are highly predictive of
grief complications.
Bereavement costs society
Comans et al (2013) suggests that a typical death
bereaves six family and friends, with a minimum cost
over $14,000 Australian. Fox (2014) and van den Berg
(2016) document huge productivity losses among
the bereaved: functioning dropping to 30% at one
month after bereavement and only reaching 60%
at six months. In 2015, Scotland estimated 55000
spousal deaths alone add a cost of at least 2 million
pounds for additional GP medical consultations and
20 million pounds sterling for additional inpatient
stays due to bereavement (Stephen et al., 2015).
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Ornstein’s team (2105, 2019) found more depressive
symptoms, entailing higher use of pharmaceuticals
among the bereaved, like similar studies showing
higher medical care costs among the bereaved
(Rolden et al, 2014), more recently confirmed by Lei
et al. (2022). So bereavement is not just personal
private sadness; it affects national productivity and
public health systems – yet economic analyses and
countermeasures remain rare.
Funerals can reduce bereavement costs
Kraeer (1981) found 34% of bereaved who held little
or no funeral faced grief complications, compared to
only 12% who held full funeral services. Wilson (2009)
found that inviting many friends and neighbors to
home funerals raised community awareness of the
needs and situations of the bereaved, and greatly
benefited those experiencing disenfranchised grief.
Funerals provide the community support that protects
mourners from suffering complicated bereavement
(Braz & Franco, 2017). Claims that “small funerals do
not affect bereaved health” focus on satisfied healthy
respondents, but we need to examine effects of
funerals on the more troubled sick and dissatisfied
grievers.
The All-Japan Bereavement
and Funeral Survey
The All-Japan Funeral Directors Co-Operation®
distributed questionnaires to recently bereaved
families who returned them anonymously to Kyoto
University using post-paid envelopes. We received not
only 1400 numerical responses for statistical analysis,
but also more than 300 handwritten comments.
We shall explain our full findings in our Krakow
presentation.
Statistics find rising medical
and pharmaceutical costs
Our survey documented continuing grievers’ ongoing
reliance on medical and welfare support. Their grief
was not merely emotional, but involved sleep-inducing
drugs and antidepressants with potential dependency
and rebound. More than 11% of Japanese bereaved
reported increased use of medical, pharmacological,
and/or financial services: most prominently for
bereaved in their ‘50’s, and for unemployed widows.
The Japanese most likely to suffer ongoing grief
were elders living alone, emotionally close to the
deceased. Their monthly medical expenses rose by
about 6000 yen per month over the second year after
bereavement. Originally high but declining household
income also correlated with higher post-bereavement
medical and pharmaceutical use, as did funeral
dissatisfaction.
Responses find Funeral Dissatisfaction predicts
problematic grief. While a satisfying funeral cannot
guarantee the health of the bereaved, funeral
dissatisfaction strongly predicted heavy grief correlating
with medical and psychological problems. Bereaved
who desire but cannot receive sufficient psycho-social
support through funeral gatherings are at higher
risk for subsequent psycho-physical problems. (One
respondent wrote that he would have suicided without
the emotional support of the funeral director!)
Then we examined anonymized survey responses
describing what aspects of funerals caused greatest
anxiety to bereaved Japanese, affecting medical/
welfare costs for the entire society. The greatest
funeral disappointment appeared in (1) attendance
(having invited too few people), (2) poor connection to
friends and relations, (3) psychological effects of the
cremation, (4) inadequate itemization or explanation
of funeral costs, and (5) botched rituals. When lacking,
insufficient, or ill-handled, these leave long-standing
bad memories and dissatisfaction that aggravate
mourners’ psychological and physical ailments,
costing society as a whole.
The All-Japan survey suggests that funeral directors’
sensitivity to such issues can mitigate funeral
dissatisfaction, and so contribute to the national
economy, health and social welfare.
Carl Becker,
PhD., D.Psych. Kyoto University School
of Medicine, Japan
THANOS MAGAZINE | No. 107 – AUTUMN 2024
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PAWS FOR COMFORT
COMPANION DOGS
WITH THE POWER OF GENUINE LOVE
By Andres Aguilar Heck, President of Señoriales Corporacion de Servicio,
President of ALPAR, Latin America
Golden retrievers play a vital role in the
Señoriales Corporacion de Servicio mission,
providing peace and companionship in
times of deep sadness.
The call came one March morning: “Andrés, my
mother passed away a year ago, and I’d like
to hold an anniversary memorial for her. Can
your company help me?” It was a friend I hadn’t
heard from in a long time. Without hesitation,
I replied, “Of course we can. Celebrating lives is
our specialty.” I knew we had something special
to offer – a way to help families cope with grief.
As guests arrived, our unique brand ambassadors
– Max, Milo, and Moli, three golden retrievers
– greeted them with joyful wagging tails and
comforting presence. They weren’t just dogs;
they were part of our grief therapy team at
Señoriales, with a presence in both Guatemala
and Mexico. My friend’s daughter, who had
never been fond of dogs, found comfort hugging
them, changing her perception of dogs entirely.
The family was deeply grateful, not just for the
memorial, but for the solace these noble animals
provided.
Weeks later, my friend’s daughter, stressed from
her medical studies, asked if we could send a
Therapy dogs have become
transformative forces,
breaking down emotional
barriers and inspiring
resilience. They don’t
just improve lives – they
profoundly change them.
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